Can we ever get away from the Sprawl?

I had the lovely experience of returning to my childhood home for two weeks to hang out with my parents dog Maggie while they sailed around the Mediterranean. As a downtown resident I am not best equipped for spending long periods of time in Suburbia. But I survived to tell the tales and to put together a Suburbia Survival List to help anyone else with similar experiences.

1) You need a car and a full tank of gas.

You can not get groceries, visit friends, get coffee or go to work without getting in your car. Also be advised that all other sprawlites will also be leaving at the exact moment you are and taking the exact one way in and out as you, and will drive way below the speed limit.

2) Bring your own decent coffee.

There are Tim Hortons as far as the eye can see, but if you want a decent latte, you better keep looking.

3) Note the time everyone else in Suburbia is walking their dogs through the park, and then go an hour later.

I found the best time to walk the dog was just after 6pm. We all know every Suburbanite watches the news and doesn’t turn it off until Matt Hayes has told them about the weather.

4) Leave the sleeping pills at home.

It is so quiet in Suburbia that you will sleep like a baby. While there are no sirens to lull you to sleep you wont wake up to random drunk people screaming in the street either.

5) Pack a flashlight, reflectors and coyote spray.

It gets very dark in Suburbia at night so when out for your 7pm run be careful of the coyotes known to lurk outside the trails.

(Post title – Arcade Fire “Sprawl II (Mountains beyond Mountains)”)


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